The Old Astronomer To His Pupil

I just remembered it’s National Poetry Month. Last year I posted an old poem of mine, but this year I thought I’d showcase the works of real poets. Now, I read very little poetry, but there are few poems that have made a strong impression on me.

The first is The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, written by 19th century poet Sarah Williams.

I just remembered it’s National Poetry Month. Last year I posted an old poem of mine, but this year I thought I’d showcase the works of real poets. Now, I read very little poetry, but there are few poems that have made a strong impression on me.

The first is The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, written by 19th century poet Sarah Williams. The first four stanzas are the most often quoted, and it’s the last line of the fourth stanza that guarantees its immortality. I found this a quietly moving tribute to the scientific profession. There is a deep respect for science, its virtues and rewards, but also, perhaps, the price one pays for practicing it. Mind you, I’m not aware of any scientist whose career is as lonely and thankless as this fictional astronomer’s… but, we’ll chalk it up to poetic license. Enjoy.

The Old Astronomer To His Pupil

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, — I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me, — since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it, — that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife, —
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars, —
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

How to get from New York City to London

Step one: go to Google Maps™
Step two: click on “Get directions”
Step three: enter “New York City” in the start address
Step four: enter “London” in the end address
Step five: click the “Get Directions” button

  • Step one: go to Google Maps™
  • Step two: click on “Get directions”
  • Step three: enter “New York City” in the start address
  • Step four: enter “London” in the end address
  • Step five: click the “Get Directions” button

Or just click here.

I got this link at work, forwarded as a joke. “Ho ho, look at step 24 asking you to swim 3,400 miles across the Atlantic,” sort of thing. And yeah, I thought it was silly too. But then I thought about it some more; and really, it makes sense if you accept that Google Maps doesn’t know about ships or planes.

And then I started wondering about the details of this route. Why, for example, are we supposed to first drive from New York to Boston and then start swimming? Well, it’s probably the most efficient route. Not the shortest as the crow flies, but it makes for the shortest distance you have to swim. And since driving is faster, it’s a bit more efficient time-wise than if you cast off from, let’s say, the eastern tip of Long Island.

Right. That part’s clear. But the European end makes less sense. If we’re going to London, why are we first landing at Le Havre, then taking the highway to the Channel Tunnel? Is it really faster than landing at, e.g., Plymouth? According to Google Maps, it is. I also tried going to Cardiff, Dublin and Plymouth, and all three times I have to land at Le Havre. Likewise for Bordeaux, Madrid and Lisbon. Huh, is all I can say.

Just for a second, I wondered if the algorithm takes ocean currents into account and I’m actually taking the most efficient swimming route. But, nah. After experimenting a bit more, I found that even starting off from Ottawa, Montreal, Fredericton or St-John’s, Newfoundland, I always swing by Boston. (The only difference being that for Canadian cities distances are measured in kilometres instead of miles. Go metric system!) So it looks like the algorithm has just this hard-coded connection between North America and Europe. The developers probably figured they wouldn’t need anything smarter. Can’t say I blame them, because who uses Google Maps to plan a transatlantic trip?

Dungeons & Dragons

I discovered The Order of the Stick about a month ago (with this episode, to be precise), and was immediately hooked. It’s got great plots, character development, action and adventure and tons of humour. Half of that is the hilarious metagaming dialog which spoke to right to my geek heart.

I discovered The Order of the Stick about a month ago (with this episode, to be precise), and was immediately hooked. It’s got great plots, character development, action and adventure and tons of humour. Half of that is the hilarious metagaming dialog which spoke to right to my geek heart. All this talk of hit points and +5 modifiers and levels by the characters themselves took me back to those long-ago gaming Dungeons & Dragons™ sessions I played with my brother M and a few friends. Ah, memories: the rattle of the dice, the scribbling on character sheets, the memorizing of monster stats, pretending we were wizards or paladins or thieves… Good times, good times.

We started playing around age 8, even before the (1st Edition) Advanced D&D came along. I remember our first couple of games, on our grandfather’s dining room table. Good old module B2! We played with our older brother and dad—who’d introduced us to the game and bought the module and dice. He never wanted to play himself, and bowed out as soon as we found gaming groups of our own. M and I played for more than a decade (and two editions), up until our early twenties when the last of the old gang moved away. I didn’t mind not RPGing anymore, since by then I’d come out of the closet and finally had a bit more of a life. Still, it was fun while it lasted, and I got to flex a lot of my creative muscles. Plus, let’s face it: there aren’t that many social outlets for awkward teens with hyperactive imaginations, and I’m grateful to our parents for, first, introducing us to the game, and second, ignoring the fundie-driven “D&D is Satanism” hysteria that flared up in the 80’s.

But though I haven’t felt like playing since, I do get nostalgic. Now, we used to read Dragon™ magazine for most of our gaming life. Dragon had excellent articles on many RPGs (not just D&D), art, modules, short stories… and comics in the back pages. After devouring the OOTS archives, I suddenly had a hankering for those long-ago comics.

What’s New? with Phil & Dixie lasted only a few years, delighting readers with its hilarious commentaries on games and the gaming world. The creator, Phil Foglio, has been keeping busy: check out the terrific steampunk adventure Girl Genius.

Yamara started in the late 80’s and apparently kept going for a bit after we let our Dragon subscription lapse in ’93-94. It was also chock-full of metagaming dialog, with this strip being the best example. And yeah, we totally did that too. Or would have, if our DM’s had introduced this kind of mystery monster.

And Wormy. A beautiful, intricately drawn story about a cranky cigar-smoking dragon, that ended abruptly in the late 80’s. Gremorly the wizard and Solomoriah the winged demon cat kicked all kinds of ass; I believe the July ’81 strip was my introduction to the story—and what a strip it was!

No trip down memory lane would be complete without a nod to Dungeons & Dragons, the TV show. Actually, more than a nod. I recently got my hands on the entire show on DVD, and I’m happily making my way through all the eps. I loved the show when it came out, and it still holds up pretty well. The voice talent is only so-so, the dialog was kind of clunky and (this being an 80’s kids’ show) full of “morally uplifting” messages, but that’s okay because the visuals are what I signed up for, then and now. Venger on his nightmare is still an awesome sight, as is Tiamat and pretty much all the various creatures and places the children see. The animators did a top-notch job of adapting to the screen the fantasy monsters I was already familiar with, and I can tell they had a lot of respect for the source material. Which is more than I can say for the losers responsible for that similarly-named abomination. Bleah.

KITCHENER.ONT.2005

…is what the graffiti said, on the side of the freight train I passed on the West Coast Express this evening.

Awesome. Just think of the sights it’s seen! Welcome to VANCOUVER.BC.2007

…is what the graffiti said, on the side of the freight train I passed on the West Coast Express this evening.

Awesome. Just think of the sights it’s seen! Welcome to VANCOUVER.BC.2007

The Battlestar Galactica Season Finale

I should have expected something like this. Well, really, all you can expect from BSG season finales is the unexpected. Things change, secrets are revealed, it’s all exciting and scary and awesome, and the best you can do is go with the flow. And then, once you’ve watched it a couple more times, try to make some sense of it all.

All along the watchtower princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants too
Outside in the distance a wild cat did growl
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl

So. Yeah.

Ze mind, she is blown.

I should have expected something like this. Well, really, all you can expect from BSG season finales is the unexpected. Things change, secrets are revealed, it’s all exciting and scary and awesome, and the best you can do is go with the flow. And then, once you’ve watched it a couple more times, try to make some sense of it all.

Okay, so first things first: there was supposed to be a Big Reveal in this ep. Namely, we’d get to see the Final Five. Did we? I’m still not 100% convinced. Sure, there’s something screwy going on with Tori, Anders, Tigh and Tyrol. They’re definitely connected somehow (to each other and to the Nebula, since they only started hearing the music when the fleet got close), but it doesn’t follow they’re Cylons. After all, in the BSG universe psychic powers exist, with prophecies and various flavours of ESP from oracles and sacred Scriptures. Plus, Tigh predates the creation of human-form Cylons. So even though they are convinced they’re Cylons, I’m just saying there could be alternative explanations—even though Ron Moore himself said there aren’t, so there goes that theory.

I still want to hear the real explanation. I’ve got vague theories that the Final Five are incorporeal Cylons, existing as pure information on the boundary between life and death, and are somehow taking over—or at least sharing—these four human minds. That for some reason they went rogue and wanted to live among humans, which was such a betrayal that the other seven models refused to ever speak of them again. And unlike the known seven Cylons, there are no duplicates of the Five. Each model is alone, unique. This philosophical difference, of duplication vs non-duplication, may have been a part of the rift that caused the Five to leave or be kicked out. This would also explain why Cylons never recognized Tigh et al. as their own. Or, maybe they deliberately erased all knowledge of them, including their appearance, except for the simple fact of their existence, from their own memories. Which I guess you can do if you’re a machine, though it seems a wee bit extreme.

Roslin, now… what about Roslin? She’s sharing dreams with Sharon, Six and Hera. All three women are connected to the child in different ways. Sharon is her birth mother, Six is her godmother/adoptive mother (maybe), Roslin has some of her blood flowing in her veins. But she—along with Sharon and Six—was also affected by the nebula’s proximity, though in different ways from the other four “Cylons.” What if Roslin is the fifth of the Final Five? Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head?

Starbuck’s alive? And she’s been to Earth? And she’ll lead the fleet there? I’ll just squeak out a feeble “What the frak?!?” because… yeah. I got nothing.

Where’s Earth supposed to be, anyways? The final shot shows the fleet and the Cylons to be deep in a galaxy that looks a lot like the Milky Way, and the Earth to be in a small satellite galaxy like the Magellanic Clouds. Huh. Well, no big deal. Let’s just say it’s a different universe, and leave it at that.

But will I really have to wait until 2008 to see how this all plays out? Two thousand fucking eight? Are you kidding me? Sigh. Well, I guess I’ll have time to buy the DVDs and watch them over and over and over…

Happy Pi Day

It’s March 14th, and that means Pi Day. All the cool geeks are celebrating it. Although in Canada, March 14 is really 14/03 but since we don’t have an April 31st, this’ll have to do.

It’s March 14th, and that means Pi Day. All the cool geeks are celebrating it. Although in Canada, March 14 is really 14/03 but since we don’t have an April 31st, this’ll have to do. Or, we could celebrate it approximately on July 22nd (22/7).

On this 3.14, what was I doing at exactly 1:59:26? I don’t remember exactly, but I was training with the CCS app and learning about SAP for half the afternoon, so there you go. I’ll be better prepared next year.

Terra Firma

Hey, that was interesting.

I took the SkyTrain into Surrey today, which means going over the Fraser River. And I always got kind of twitchy doing that because I’m afraid of heights, and there’s nothing like guard rails on that bridge. It was just too easy to imagine myself (and all the other commuters) falling down, down, down into the water and then sinking down, down, down to the bottom of the river. I’m not really sure how deep it is, but the point is: down.

Hey, that was interesting.

I took the SkyTrain into Surrey today, which means going over the Fraser River. And I always got kind of twitchy doing that because I’m afraid of heights, and there’s nothing like guard rails on that bridge. It was just too easy to imagine myself (and all the other commuters) falling down, down, down into the water and then sinking down, down, down to the bottom of the river. I’m not really sure how deep it is, but the point is: down. I’ve skytrained into Surrey a couple of times in the last few weeks, though before that I hadn’t done it in a long time. And something was different today: I didn’t get nervous going over the water, not at all. I just gazed down at the river in perfect serenity.

Here’s the secret: I’ve been gradually desensitising myself against acrophobia. My new job is on the 9th floor of a downtown high-rise building (sometimes taking me as high as the 16th); at least once a day I stand by the floor-to-ceiling windows, and just… look down. (And sometimes out. We’ve got a nice view of False Creek.) It’s a bit dizzying, and definitely disorienting to look down at other buildings and see the people walking around like ants. But it’s worth it. The little flutter in my stomach isn’t gone yet, though it’s much easier to ignore. And apparently it’s totally gone when I’m less than nine storeys above the ground (or the water). Très cool.

Now that I think about it, I never got the chance to get used to heights until I started this job. There are no high-rises out in the boonies (well, there are a few near downtown Coquitlam, but not where I live); ditto for my old job, in East Van. Ditto for school. What’s the tallest building at Simon Fraser? The AQ, with six floors? I only went there a handful of times, mainly to get cool photos of the North Shore mountains. There was the zip-lining thing, in which I stared down the fear, but it didn’t make it go away. This will, though. I’m learning that patience and perseverance is the key to fears and hangups.

Heh. Maybe I should get into the self-help industry.

Accidental Community

I’ve just returned from the first meeting of the Accidental Community project. There was a photo slideshow by local artist John Kozachenko, a very brief overview of the history of gay men’s communities in the West End, Q & A and interactive discussion, and a look at future directions for the project.

I’ve just returned from the first meeting of the Accidental Community project. There was a photo slideshow by local artist John Kozachenko, a very brief overview of the history of gay men’s communities in the West End, Q & A and interactive discussion, and a look at future directions for the project. Fascinating stuff. I learned that the man after whom Davie Street was named—Alexander Edmund Batson Davie, 8th Premier of B.C.—was rumoured to be gay, though he had a wife and children. But apparently he hung out with gay people who, upon his death, started a social club in his honour and renamed the street after him. The articles I could find online don’t elaborate on just what kind of social club this was.

I was invited to this meeting by one of the project members, who’d contacted me a couple of months ago via my queer history project, looking for leads for his research (unrelated to mine, but it never hurts to ask). Unfortunately, I couldn’t really help him, since I haven’t kept in touch with the one person I interviewed and all my other sources are publicly available. Still, I’m enormously flattered that my little project got his attention in the first place.

In addition to some cool history, another thing I got out of this meeting was how disconnected I am to the West End, living way the hell out in the suburbs. True, there are advantages—it’s much cheaper to live out here, and I do have some (non-gay) friends nearby—but maybe I’m missing out on more than I realise. Years ago I voluntarily severed almost all ties with queer communities; I’ve since eased some of the way back in, and only recently have I realised what a mistake that self-imposed exile was. Where to go from here, though? That’s what I’ll have to figure out.

Anime of my Youth

I recently bought the first DVD set of Gatchaman, the 1970’s anime that was re-edited and repackaged as Battle of the Planets here in North America. I watched BOTP religiously as a youngun, having no clue as to its origins—and honestly, not caring that much. But now I do care and, seeing the original, uncut and redubbed (and resubbed—I usually prefer subtitles anyways), I’m shocked at how much was “lost in translation.”

I recently bought the first DVD set of Gatchaman, the 1970’s anime that was re-edited and repackaged as Battle of the Planets here in North America. I watched BOTP religiously as a youngun, having no clue as to its origins—and honestly, not caring that much. But now I do care and, seeing the original, uncut and redubbed (and resubbed—I usually prefer subtitles anyways), I’m shocked at how much was “lost in translation.” For one thing, the violence and the deaths were toned down quite a bit. For another, the robot sidekick and narrator 7-Zark-7 was added to the mix (because I guess kids need cute but annoying robots), cutting into yet more of the original story. Jinpei/Keyop was just a normal kid in the original series, but became some sort of lab-grown artificial human in BOTP to explain his weird speech impediment. The real explanation, of course, was that it was damn hard to fit English dialog to his huge flapping mouth. The adult characters all had much smaller mouths, so it wasn’t a problem for them. And, for some reason, in BOTP Galactor/Spectra (the evil organization trying to conquer Earth) got renamed and became extraterrestrial, where originally they were just human terrorists, no more alien than Doctor Evil. I’m not sure how much I should read into that. Were the BOTP writers too twitchy about blurring the lines of good and evil? Or maybe it was just to make the whole thing more science-fictiony and allow the heroes to visit other planets (which looked just like Earth) and put in some cool starscape shots?

I have to say, once it’s stripped of all the useless and irritating Kiddie Show frills, Gatchaman is pretty good stuff. Nothing spectacular, and somewhat talky and overdramatic as anime tends to be, but it’s good solid entertainment, highly enjoyable. Even the “character development” scenes and storylines (the “chemistry” between Ken/Mark and Jun/Princess, Joe/Jason’s hotheadedness and constant butting heads with the leader, the mysterious “Red Impulse” who turns out to be Ken’s father, etc…) are somehow a lot less annoying in the original.

Battle of the Planets wasn’t the only anime I grew up with. There were three other shows, all French-dubbed. And, interestingly, none of them toned down the violence. I guess English censors were more timid than French ones?

First up is Goldorak (original Japanese name: UFO Robo Grendizer). Giant robots with exotic-looking weapons! Earth in peril! A prince in exile! The series actually wasn’t hugely violent, since most of the action took place between the aforementioned giant robots; however, there were a number of tense and emotional scenes, as well as a few deaths over the course of the series—including most of the main bad guys in the finale. I’ve found a few videos on YouTube and a few more as bittorrents. It still holds up quite well. The action and visuals are excellent, and the characters have some depth (except for a few who are there just for comic relief). Good stuff. And I’m not the only one who thinks so: Goldorak was huge in France and French Canada when it came out.

As it turns out (and again, I had no clue then), Goldorak/Grendizer was just one of many giant robots already fighting in anime. My brother and I had lots of the little Shogun Warrior action figures back in… 1979, I think. Later, we got the bigger Raydeen and Daimos. I wonder how much they’d be worth now. It’s kind of a moot point, since we threw them away long ago, and even if we hadn’t they’d be far from mint condition. For example, I remember that Poseidon’s missile launcher things broke off at one point.

Albator (English: Harlock) is the story of a noble space pirate fighting evil alien plant women called Sylvidres (English: Mazones), who mean to conquer Earth. This series was very violent, with people always getting shot or stabbed or burned, often in slow motion. One scene I remember shows Clio (Miime), the mysterious alien crewmember with strange magical powers, quietly playing solitaire (I think) on board the Atlantis (Arcadia), when a Sylvidre soldier snuck up on her. So what did she do? She threw a playing card like a knife at the Sylvidre and hit her right in the chest. Whereupon the alien burst into flames, ’cos that’s how they die. Man, that’s hardcore. In addition to the violence there were also a few scenes of nekkid wimmin (well, nekkid Sylvidres), though with their long hair or other props artfully arranged to cover the naughty bits.

Albator was recently broadcast for a while on Radio-Canada; I stumbled on it by accident and managed to catch a few episodes. It’s a great show, very dark and over-the-top dramatic, though lightened by gorgeous space battles and small amounts of comic relief. But damn, how old was I when I first watched it? Seven, maybe? I guess the moral is, TV violence won’t necessarily harm your child as long as it’s artfully done.

Last but not least we have Capitaine Flam. This anime was based on a 1940’s sci-fi pulp series called Captain Future: each storyline, taking up four half-hour episodes, was adapted from an original Captain Future story. As far as I can tell, the TV series is very true to the original. We have a hero who is a physically and mentally perfect human being, with vast scientific knowledge and amazing athletic skills that he uses for the good of humanity. We have a few interesting sci-fi sidekicks (a robot, an android, and a brain in a floating box), as well as a platonic love interest. This is a universe when men are men, women are women (yet, though Joan is often the damsel in distress, she’s got a sharp brain and can kick some ass when needed), space is big and dangerous, and on every planet and moon you’ll find exotic aliens or mysterious ruins hiding fabulous ancient technologies. But though Flam can fire a proton blaster with the best of them, as often as not he saves the day through diplomacy or ingenuity. You don’t see that too often these days, but it was a time when a hero could be manly and scientific. In fact, though some of the science is extremely silly (no, you can’t hide an entire planet in Halley’s comet), there’s a very didactic tone to the show that reminds me of some Victorian adventure stories and slightly more recent comic books.

I downloaded a few episodes, and I’m happy to say Capitaine Flam still holds up. In fact, it’s damn good stuff, even more enjoyable now that I’m aware of its roots. And, best of all, there are online copies of many of the original Captain Future stories. Just in case you want to see where it all started.

My Kingdom for a Horse!

Warning: Not for children or the faint of heart.

A few weeks ago, a hilariously weird and creepy entry came up on OTF Wank. There’s this guy, who’s married, and also has a girlfriend. His wife is happy being monogamous, but the girlfriend wants to have other partners and he’s jealous. So, okay, at first glance he just sounds like a controlling and selfish asshole, until you find out that his wife is a horse.

Warning: Not for children or the faint of heart.

A few weeks ago, a hilariously weird and creepy entry came up on OTF Wank. There’s this guy, who’s married, and also has a girlfriend. His wife is happy being monogamous, but the girlfriend wants to have other partners and he’s jealous. So, okay, at first glance he just sounds like a controlling and selfish asshole, until you find out that his wife is a horse. Not just “horse-faced” but really a horse, species Equus Caballus. And yes, they’re “married.” Had a ceremony and everything, apparently. It’s all twisted and creepy and the people involved need professional help—especially the horsefucker, but also the girlfriend, who doesn’t mind playing second fiddle to a horse. But Gawd help me, I laughed. Check out the girlfriend’s (yes, the human one) art for a chuckle or two.

Then I mostly forgot about it. But this weekend, I read Something Awful’s latest Second Life Safari, which features a lot of horse fetishism. (Don’t click on that link unless you can handle freaky fetish gear and virtual bestiality. Seriously, you’ve been warned.)

And there’s the latest installment of Something Positive’s Life With Rippy storyline. I’ll let that speak for itself.

So, to recap, we’ve got bestiality, virtual bestiality and freaky horse-fetishists, all in a very short span of time. It’s a good thing I don’t believe in “the power of coincidence” or what have you, otherwise I’d seriously wonder what the universe is trying to tell me.