June 2006 – Nicolas Demers

Juggernaut is not a mutant!

Now that I’ve got that off my chest… Spoiler warning.

I finally went to see X-Men: The Last Stand last weekend. It was pretty good as an action flick, and a standalone X-Men movie. But as a sequel? Ehhh.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest… Spoiler warning.

I finally went to see X-Men: The Last Stand last weekend. It was pretty good as an action flick, and a standalone X-Men movie. But as a sequel? Ehhh. The biggest disappointment was Evil Jean. Sorry, I mean “Phoenix.” Wait, I totally don’t, because this was not Phoenix. The closing scenes in X2 suggested a beautiful creature of light and fire, still in touch with her humanity, her love for Cyclops and her duty to the X-Men. What we got instead was a moderately scary Jean who boffed Wolverine, disintegrated people on a whim, and turned grey and veiny whenever her evil personality surfaced. What is this, season 6 Buffy? Sheesh.

Storm had a much bigger role, which I’m kind of ambivalent about. On the one hand, she kicked a lot of ass, and Halle Berry didn’t suck as much as the previous movies (but really, nothing could top the “Do you know what happens to a Toad that get struck by lightning?” line). On the other, she still can’t deliver the grandeur and majesty I’ve come to associate with Storm, thanks to the 90’s animated series. And apparently Berry herself pushed for a bigger role. Girl, Storm is all kinds of awesome but you’re not that good, so please get over yourself.

Oh, speaking of bigger roles, what was up with Cyclops? All he did was act like the world’s biggest whining pussy, blast Alkali Lake with his eyebeams, then get horribly killed by Jean. Yeah, I know, James Marsden was filming Superman Returns at the same time, but did he have to be killed like that? And then forgotten for the rest of the movie? Granted I was never a fan of his, but this was completely disrespectful.

Story-wise, I think they tried to cram too much into this movie. A mutant cure, Dark Phoenix, the Sentinels (not really, but almost), yet more mutants and supporting characters—Beast, who was terrific; Kitty Pryde, who kicked a surprising amount of ass; Angel, who… had no plot; and Moira McTaggert—as well as a lot of random info about the X-universe, like that business of levels of mutant powers, and listing the given names (or should I say “slave names?”) of as many mutants as they could. Seems kind of pointlessly nerdy.

Some random thoughts:

Squee! Sentinels! Yeah, it was just the Danger Room, but my inner geek was bouncing.
How thoughtful of Jean to leave Wolverine’s pants on in that last scene where she was telekinetically flaying him alive. Oh, wait, I mean, bad! BOO FOR PANTS ON HUGH JACKMAN! While I’m at it, boo for non-shirtless Colossus! But yay for pretty shirtless Angel!
Magneto, enough with the hand gestures when you use your powers! God, was I the only one who found it incredibly annoying? He was never that bad in the first two movies, was he?
So, this cure serum is only partial or temporary. If there is a fourth movie, I really hope Magneto and Mystique aren’t in it. Don’t get me wrong, those two are made of pure distilled awesomeness and could conquer the world in a weekend if they put their minds to it, but three movies is enough.

A Wedding in Sooke

For the second time in three weeks I was on the Island; not in Tofino but the little town of Sooke, for my friend Nathan’s wedding. It was a very nice ceremony, nothing fancy, with Sooke Harbour as a gorgeous backdrop. Which became a grey and rainy backdrop the following day, so we really lucked out.

Five of us stayed in a lovely bed & breakfast for the weekend. The scenery was beautiful, the amenities spotless, the breakfasts yummy beyond description. The only irritant was one of the owners, who turned out to be a hardcore evangelical Christian. I only found this out the evening after Nathan’s wedding, when we’d all gone back to the B&B to relax, and he struck up a conversation with Jon, one of our friends who I knew was also a devout Xian (but, to his credit, had never preached to me). I was upstairs, trying to lose myself in Stephen Baxter’s excellent Exultant but I couldn’t tune out the harsh dogma, talk of “church-planting” and other bizarre jargon. Finally I couldn’t take any more, and went for a walk. I headed down the Galloping Goose trail, got bored by the lack of scenery, so I decided to explore a trail following Ayum Creek down to the water. That was a lot more interesting, and washed away the unpleasant taste of dogmatism. Plus, it gave me some very nice pictures.

Things got sour again the next morning as we were heading out. Sandra, an elementary school teacher and very politically active, got into an argument with the aforementioned Xian about the upcoming strike vote and teacher’s demands. He was absolutely opposed to the strike action (and, it seemed, pretty much any social activism), self-righteously accused the teachers of being greedy, and other equally insulting arguments. Sandra held her own but was getting visibly upset by the guy’s assholish attitude, so I stepped in. Partly out of chivalry, partly because I agreed with Sandra’s position, and partly because I enjoy a good argument every now and then. But it’s a good thing we were on our way out.

To be fair: we didn’t see much of him until our last morning, and his wife was extremely nice. Still, there’s no way I’m staying there again.)

Some more pictures over here!

Heartbeat

Oh my dear Lord. Here I was, minding my own business, when I stumbled on this review of Don Johnson’s Heartbeat. If you grew up in the 80’s as I did, and haven’t totally repressed the memories, then this video should need no introduction. Those of you asking “Whose Heartbeat? Don Johnson’s what?” please enjoy this quintessential slice of 80’s kitsch, available through the magic of the internet.

View on YouTube